The language we use matters. The words we use matter.

There can be power in changing our narrative.

Such as changing: I can’t…. to… I won’t…

For example:

I can’t leave my job > I won’t leave my job

This change of frame is unlikely to instantly free us from a situation.

But there maybe a small shift.

It can be a stepping stone for moving through a process of Awareness > Acceptance > Agency & Action.

The shift above may introduce a little bit more space. And the possibility of a greater sense of agency.

(Alternatively it may also introduce new feelings of irritation or frustration. These too are welcome.)

You may have many very real and positive reasons why you don’t want to leave a job (yet…), and this reframe can help to uncover and explore them.

There is power in loosening any sense of being a victim of our circumstances.

And at the same time, I don’t want to negate the very real impact of systemic challenges. Poverty is stressful. Racism exists. The patriarchy exists. The world we live in, is far from perfect.  

And yet there is still the possibility of personal agency.

Viktor Frankel’s lived experience of being in a holocaust concentration camp adds real weight to his quote:

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”

And no one is saying it’s easy.

This is not an invitation to beat ourselves up or give ourselves a hard time. A spirit of radical curiosity and compassion is suggested!

Is there anything in your life that could benefit from exploring a shift from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I won’t’?